Time to Bloom

 "And the time came when the risk it took to remain the bud 

was more painful than the risk it took to bloom." 

 -Anais Nin

Typically, I don't look forward to the arrival of spring. I'm one of those rare people that prefers cold temperatures and snow to warmth and summer, so when the calendar changes to April, I usually feel my energy draining a bit. But this year, there is something magical in the air.  

It all started when we changed the clocks a few weeks ago - all the sudden, it was light out on my drive home, and my apartment was filled with beautiful sunshine after a long work day. It made me feel like I'd gotten out of work early! Then, I got a pedicure with a few girlfriends, and afterward we sat outside in the warmth of the sun to enjoy coffee together. On my drive home (with the windows open, of course), I thought to myself, "Okay, spring. Maybe we'll be friends this year". 

The changing of seasons is such a beautiful thing - each one of them ushers in something fresh and new, and typically it's exactly what we need at the time. This spring, I feel like I was ready to ease out of my winter hibernation/introverted shell and bloom a bit. Maybe a bit tentatively at first, but each day, a bit more.

To me, this means that I'm going to be more appreciative of all of the light and love that surrounds me - my family, always just a car ride or Skype call away; my friends, who are there for me in the silliest moments and the most serious; and restorative time to myself, on a morning walk or reading with a cup of tea in bed. It means I'll spontaneously meet up with a friend without my planner showing me that's what's on tap for the afternoon. I'll open myself up to new opportunities and not stay content in my extremely comfortable comfort zone. I'll be a little more bold, a little more courageous.

I'll bloom a little, in my own way. Happy, happy spring.

Favorite Things: March 2013

David's Tea - Forever Nuts: I've been on a big hot tea kick recently, and my favorite is this unique herbal blend from David's Tea. It's a mix of nuts, apple pieces, and beet root, and the result is a lovely nutty flavor that is hot pink. I've recently started making a mug of tea every afternoon at work (in addition to my morning tea routine), and this has been the winner. 

Luna Bars: I'm an on-the-go person, especially for breakfast and snacks, so these bars have really been coming in handy recently. While I'm not proud that I'm usually so rushed in the morning I'm eating one of these in my car on the drive to work, I love that they are something I can feel good about snacking on. 

Spotify: I don't know why I resisted this phenomenal streaming music service so long. For a mere 10 bucks per month, you have access to every album there is, you can access them from your mobile devices, and make & share playlists. I've become familiar with some great new artists (Sea Wolf, Atlas Genius, Alex Winston) and also had an impromptu Wilson Phillips sing-along on the way home from work.

Scandal: One of my favorite activities in life is to binge-watch a TV show, and with the help of Netflix and Hulu+, I've gone through all of the Scandal episodes in the past month. It's compelling with a fantastic cast, and (slight spoiler alert) Scott Foley arrives during the second season, which made my Noel Crane loving heart go pitter-patter. 

Trader Joe's Crunchy Cookie Butter: The last time that I bought cookie butter I said "never again", because man, is that stuff good. I managed to go several months without repurchasing until I spied the crunchy variety on the shelf at my local Trader Joe's. Done and done. This is the best on toast, with apples, or (possibly my favorite way) on a spoon.

Naked Basics Palette: I'm certainly a nail polish and lipstick girl, but I've never gotten too into eyeshadow. My makeup bag has 2 tried-and-true little palettes from Wet & Wild, and not much else. But after hearing Ashley & Karin sing it's praises, I splurged on this neutral matte palette. It's right up my alley, because I can experiment a bit while still staying in neutral territory. 

After the Jump podcast: My friend Caiti first recommended this podcast to me, and I've been delighted with it ever since. It's hosted by Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge, and each week she interviews someone in the art & design world, or (my favorite) does a solo show on work/life balance and her career. 

What have you been loving this month?

BFF with Myself

This Valentine's Day, I'm surrounded by a lot of love. For starters, my beau and I will be doing our annual tradition of dinner at Chipotle (which is perfect for us). I also received a sweet package in the mail from my mom yesterday, and have been trading Valentine's greetings with friends all day. But, the relationship that I'm reflecting on the most today is my relationship with myself. 

Several months ago, a friendship ended with a person that I long considered to be my best friend. It wasn't my decision, but the best thing I could do for this person (and ultimately myself) was to just let it go. I've been on an emotional roller coaster about it since it happened, but the biggest struggle I faced was feeling lonely without my best friend, really feeling the void that this person had filled. In a way, it was like a break-up, but harder in a sense because it was with a person I'd known for 80% of my life. 

I was recently reading an interview with Mindy Kaling, who I adore, and the article touched on the subject of her mother's battle with cancer and their final words before she passed away. “I said to her, ‘Mom, I’m going to be so lonely without you. And she just said, ‘You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.’” 

Isn't that simple, yet so powerful? Our relationship with ourselves is truly the most important and fundamental one that we will ever embark on. We've got to do our best to truly love ourselves and give ourselves the priority, acceptance, and care that we give to others. I often find that I don't do this: I'll give great advice to others and not take it to heart myself, I won't realize when my stress level is sky high, and I am content just plodding along, day after day. 

Is the voice inside yourself saying kind things, as you'd say to a dear friend, or speaking harshly and negatively, the kinds of things you'd never say to anyone else? This week also is the beginning of Lent, and I've decided that instead of giving up something tangible, like cheese or shopping, that I will "give up" the negative self-talk and strive to be more aware of that inner voice.

I'm extremely blessed to have a loving family, an incredibly supportive boyfriend, and the dearest friends, both near and far. But the relationship that I'm most thankful for today is the one that I'm cultivating with myself. As Oscar Wilde says, it's the beginning of a lifelong romance.

{Image via Pinterest}

Creating Space

 

In this digital age of virtual calendars, to-do lists, and perpetually over-scheduling ourselves, it's so hard to allow ourselves room in our daily lives to just be. As an introvert, I often have to literally schedule unscheduled time for myself in my planner, but even then, packing our days and weekends full has just become the norm. I also tend to cherish unplanned moments to just have true downtime (i.e. reading, watching TV, taking a nap) and don't realize that filling those spaces with other restorative activities can have an even greater impact.

One morning last week I was facing a long day at work, the kind that typically made me want to hide under the covers until the last possible moment. But that morning, I decided to try something different. I got up earlier than normal (only about 30 minutes) and gave myself time to get ready without being in a hurry. I wasn't racing against the clock as I traveled to work, and even enjoyed listening to a new podcast (have you listened to Pop Culture Happy Hour yet? It's my new favorite).

And, a strange thing occurred -- I actually found myself in a terrific mood when I arrived at work, with more energy than usual. And with less sleep? It seemed a little backwards, but it led me to realize what other areas of my life could benefit from a little extra space. 

This past weekend, my beau & I found ourselves with a completely unscheduled Saturday. We headed out to Takoma Park, a neighboring little town with cute shops and spots for lunch. We planned on having lunch there, but after lunch, we decided to swing by a cafe just down the street for a hot beverage and a sweet treat. As we wandered in, we realized that it wasn't really a "to go" type place, so we decided to settle in and sip our drinks out of actual mugs. What a treat to not rush off somewhere! We sat & chatted, and afterward decided that coffee dates should be a part of our regular repertoire. 

What small changes, but what big impact on my daily life and mood. I hope to keep creating these little areas of space for myself, and am excited to see what fills them.

5 Star Books of 2012

Since joining Goodreads a few years ago, I've found it a fantastic way to organize what I've read & want to read, see what other friends are reading, and rate books once I've finished. Last year, I joined the Goodreads Challenge for the first time, with a goal of reading 25 books (I'd only read 14 the year before). I ended up reading 27, and upped my goal this year to 30. 

I went through my bookshelf and saw that there were 7 books from this past year that I'd rated 5 stars, and I thought I'd share them with you.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
After 2 girlfriends recommended this book to me, I downloaded it for my Kindle. Though it's technically young adult, this beautiful story is much more poignant to me now than if I'd read it as a teen. It follows two teenagers who meet at a cancer support group and the path their life takes in the months to follow. Certainly a tearjerker, but it doesn't stay with the stereotype you might be imagining. As an only child, the well drawn relationship between Hazel and her parents was one of my favorite parts of the book. 

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Thrillers aren't usually in my comfort zone, but I found myself flying through this exhilarating book I read for my book club. At one point, I texted a friend who had already finished because I was so anxious about it I didn't think I'd be able to continue. She advised me to push through, and I'm so glad I did. Though it doesn't have the most satisfying ending, this story following a couple after the wife's disappearance is a well-paced roller coaster ride. 

The Paris Wife by Paula McLain 
We follow Hadley, the first wife of Ernest Hemingway as she meets, marries, and moves with him to Paris during the 1920s. This book paints a stunning portrait of Paris and read like a memoir. I found myself really identifying with Hadley, even as she navigated grim waters. 

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker 
In this slightly sci-fi book, we follow Julia as she deals with normal adolescence against the backdrop of the earth's rotation slowing slightly each day. What I loved about this book was that it was a tremendously well written coming of age story, but also had a unique (and eerily believable) sci-fi storyline. This book is slow paced and beautifully written, and left me thinking about it long after I'd turned the last page.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed 
As an aforementioned "indoorsy" person, I was worried whether I'd grow bored or disinterested with Cheryl's adventures hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. On the contrary, I found this book a beautiful portrait of a woman in her 20s grieving her mother's death, with  easily readable vignettes of her time on the trail. It reminded me of a gritter Eat, Pray, Love without the "you need to find love to be fulfilled" aspect. 

The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson 
Sometimes a quick chick-lit book comes along and becomes one of your favorite books of the year. I flew through this book in a matter of days, all the while wanting it never to end. It alternates between the 70s and the present, and the character development is so fantastic. We follow Annabelle and a heart-fluttering and believable love triangle with Jeremiah and Grant. 

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
After reading Wild, I knew I also wanted to read this compilation of Cheryl Stayed's once anonymous advice columns for The Rumpus. What I didn't expect was to weep, be inspired, and want to keep this book by my nightstand forevermore. These advice columns are a beautiful portrait of a strong woman who has a lot of perspective to share.

What were some of your favorite books of the year?

Favorite Things: January 2013

Temple Run - I'm not really much of a game player, but my boyfriend's nieces got me hooked on this game during our recent trip to California. The basic gist is that you're an explorer running through a temple while being chased by monkeys. You collect coins, jump over things, slide under things, and (my favorite part!) when you die, you can just play again. It is mindless and fun, and kept my mind occupied during my long flights. 

David's Tea - I'd heard many good things about this loose leaf tea company, but hadn't actually bit the bullet to order any. Imagine my glee when I found an actual store a stone's throw from where we stayed in San Francisco! I picked up 6 different kinds, and each has been a winner. My favorite so far is Organic Detox, a green tea blend with ginger, gingko, and juniper berries. 

YSL Volupte Sheer Candy - I first heard of this tinted gloss/balm from my friend Ashley (who has an amazing blog & YouTube channel), but it took me a few months to pony up the cash & give it a try. But after all the lip products I've purchased over the past year or so, this one absolutely takes the cake. After purchasing it 2 weeks ago, I literally have worn nothing else. The color (I have mouthwatering berry) is gorgeous, it smells slightly fruity, and it hydrates my lips like nothing else I own. 

Julep nail polish - I have a serious nail polish buying problem, which is why I'm thrilled to have found Julep. Their creme polishes are fantastic, glossy, and long wearing, and they have a fun monthly subscription service (called Julep Maven) where you receive 2 polish colors + a special product each month. Best of all, you can skip any month without penalty. 

What Alice Forgot - I've read many good books this year, but my favorite so far is What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. It follows a woman named Alice who, at 39-years-old, has a head injury where she wakes up thinking she's 29-years-old. It may sound like a slightly cheesy premise, but the primary & secondary characters were extremely well developed and it really left me thinking about the storyline well after I'd finished the book. 

What are you enjoying this month?

Welcoming a New Year

 “I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn 

It's so difficult to not get in the full scale resolution mode when January rolls in, ready to chuck your current life out the window in favor of some perfect version where you take public transportation daily and make green smoothies after waking naturally without an alarm. I'll admit, I love a fresh start as much as the next person, and after spending a week in Ohio eating cheesy casseroles & cookies, I truly did long to drink that yucky-looking-but-delicious green sludge.  

But the problem with grandiose resolution making is that it creates this mindset that we're not up to snuff, and that we need "fixing". And, when you ultimately don't get up early enough to take the bus to work (ahem, me this morning), you feel as if you've let yourself down. And it's only the 10th day of the year! Oh, the pressure. 

As I was reading all of the very inspiring blog posts and magazine articles about making resolutions, I ran across this gem over at Green Plate Studios. Analiese writes "It’s so important for us, especially women, to remember that we are already powerful, whole, and worthy of love exactly as we are. Set the intentions. Set the resolutions. Set the goals. But don’t make them about fixing what’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. (Anyone who tells you otherwise? Probably trying to sell you something.) Focusing on what we see as flaws keeps us from enjoying real life, in all its messy and imperfect glory."

Often, I get caught up in the awful cycle of feeling like I'm not "enough": pretty enough, skinny enough, well dressed enough, you get the picture. But earlier this week, I ran across a photo of a friend who was announcing her pregnancy. She was posed informally with her husband and she just looked so beautiful in a natural, non-model way, and most importantly, she looked happy. That was what stuck out to me the most about the picture. Not her outfit, the location, the shade of lipstick - just her undeniable joy. And it made me realize that inner glow is more important than any external factor. I know I'll need reminding of this time and time again as the year progresses, but it really rang true with me this week. 

And that's why my "resolutions" are taken from the above Audrey Hepburn quote: to laugh as often as possible, love with an open heart, be strong when things are difficult, let my inner glow shine, and have a fresh start whenever I need it.

{Image via Pinterest}